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Remembering

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Today's Memorial Day which has me thinking of sacrifice and my grandfather specifically. My paternal grandfather was enlisted in the United States Navy. I grew up hearing about his leaving his station in Pearl Harbor the day before it was bombed. Although that was a serious bit of luck on his part, a lot of service men were not as fortunate. I have some mixed feelings about the united states military as I'm sure many people do. What I can respect is anyone who is willing to put all they have on the line for others. Last week, I started and completed the 40 miles walking challenge for the American Cancer Society. This month I am challenging myself to walk 110 miles to raise funds for research for the American Heart Association. My father passed away on November 13, 2017 following a heart attack. It's my fervent hope to spare others the same heartbreak that my family has endured.  Sorry if this post was all over the place. There's other stuff going on too. I finally finis...

Shame Spiral

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I was going to focus on other things today but it's been a morning. Steve offered to drive me to the bus this morning because "Dad is tired". I took him up on it because I figured he wanted an excuse to grab some food (false he had food) and I was feeling lazy. We were almost all the way to the bus when he revealed that he was super tired and Franz had asked him to drive me. Very weird because I have been walking. Though maybe what he said was, " if your mom needs a ride, can you drive her?" IDK. Anyway, on the way back home, he was pulled over by a cop. He doesn't know why but was told to expect something in the mail. So now I feel like shit. I should have told him I didn't need a ride. Fuck. And I don't even know why?!?!? Ugh. Also these pants have a big stain. It's probably paint but got them 6 years ago at a thrift store so in the trash they go tonight. I did lose weight last week though so that's something.

Progress

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I've been chugging along on track. Meals have been uninspired but I'm keeping within my calories and with the exception of sugar in my coffee, I've been off sweets. I even have a Reese's in my bag for "emergencies" that I haven't touched. Today I got out for a nice, long walk. Just a shade under 5 miles at 4.88. I was tempted to keep going and hit 5 but my foot hurt and I want to go hiking tomorrow. I even slathered on sunscreen. So, no sunburns for me! Ran across a few people wearing masks. Didn't bring mine since I'm vaccinated and didn't plan to get close to anyone. I didn't and I made sure to give others a wide berth. Work is painfully slow these days. We have a grand total of 1 child and 2 teachers every day. My coteacher and I take turns working on our NAEYC folder. I'm glad to have a job but dang, we need more kids lol That's enough for now. Other shit is going on but I don't feel like talking about it. I leav...

May 17

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 Accountability check. I was on a good streak for a while weight-wise. Then for some reason, I fell off the wagon hard. I had gotten down to 169 and now am back up to 177. Reading was slow but picking up. I am halfway through Book 2 in my reading challenge with a list and plan.  I joined the Cancer walk challenge to walk 40 miles in the month of May. So far, I am more than halfway through! Yahh me!!
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 It's almost 2021! It's been a tough year with a lot of changes so I'm going to be a little more gentle with myself than usual. My new mantra is a quote from Supernatural "Every day. Every day we get a chance to be better." Health: Get down to 140 lbs Run a 5K Eliminate dairy products from my diet Mental: Complete the 2021 Reading Challenge I'm going to use this blog for some form of accountability and planning. Wish me luck!